Today i will explain, how you can attract someone
and make them like or can impress them just by talking 90 seconds
Here author is saying 90 seconds because
Research shows and even you know that now a days Our attention span has reduced very much.
Magazine ads have only 2 seconds to grab your attention,
and if you like that ad in those 2 sec, then only you will give your time to that ad.
If you don't find it attractive, you simply turn the page and move on.
People easily form their opinions about us
Just after few seconds of our conversation with them,
Hence it becomes necessary for us, to form a good impression at start only
and to capture their attention at the same time,
This can be really very useful for your personal and professional life.
Most of the people fail to understand, what they must talk when they meet someone for the first time.
And this makes them nervous and they start behaving awkward.
And as a result for which, what happens, they fail to form a good bond or relation with the opposite person
and many a times people don't even like them,
and don't even feel like talking to them again.
Because of their first bad impression.
Hence if you don't want, such thing happening to you
or if you want to learn forming a strong connection with people
and want to impress people by talking
So in today's Article, i will share this only
i will share how you can form emotional level connection with anyone
How we should talk with others?
what we should talk? etc after understanding all this things
for sure you will become a professional communicator.
so let's begin.
in order to make these things possible, we first need to understand three parts
First part MEETING
Second Part Establishing a RAPPORT
Third part COMMUNICATING
To meet any person and to start communicating with them
between these two important steps of meeting and communication 90 seconds window appears
in those 90 seconds you can create Rapport and can impress the opposite person
and can form emotional level connection.
And what exactly Rapport is i will explain later so don't worry
these points are really very important, hence i will explain each point in detail
So let's start with No.1) which is MEETING
If you give your right impression within 3 or 4 seconds of meeting someone
So this will make you look trustworthy, sincere and safe
Which is really very important to create a RAPPORT.
so now i will share five small tips
By following it, within some seconds you can create Right impression
It means to have an open attitude and body language, not closed
If you are talking to someone by folding your hand or standing/sitting by taking less space
Than all these examples are for closed body language
whereas, if you keep your hands open, and keep a space between your legs
and take space while sitting or standing,
these are open body language examples.
Hence always try to form open body language while meeting some one
by doing this you will appear impressive
Remaining 4 points are also About open body language so do follow them as well.
No.2) Eye contact
In my communication related article's i have shared, how powerful eye contact can be while talking to someone
so here i will not say much,
do remember, that keeping an eye contact will show how much confident and attractive you are.
whereas, maintaining less eye contact shows that you are nervous
or you are lying or you are uninterested
which is not at all good for most of the time.
One more thing, its not like, you should't look anywhere
and you just need to maintain an eye contact always
You must maintain eye contact, as per the situation, if needed you must maintain if not then you shouldn't
if eye contact isn't required in particular situation still you do, then you can look weird hence understand.
No.3) Beam means A Genuine Smile.
After doing an eye contact, what you must do is
we must give a smile to the person, before him/her
doing this will reflect your positive attitude
and do remember you must give a genuine and friendly smile not creepy or weird smile
After smiling, you must start a conversation by greeting them, with good tone and with full of energy.
By saying HI, HELLO OR NAMASKAR, Anything through which you want to start your conversation.
And do remember the more nicely you introduce yourself, the more nicely opposite person will also
and one more things, this is the nice time, to know more about the opposite person.
Example, if you meet someone and say HELLO,
then opposite person will also reply that much only BY SAYING HELLO OR HI thats it.
and will remain quiet, so this thing can make the situation more awkward and weird.
BUT if You Say, HELLO MY NAME IS SURAJ AND I AM A YOUTUBER.
So even you will get a big reply, like
I AM Ravi and I am An Architect
I know this isn't the best example, but you must have understood
The more nicely you introduce yourself
The more big reply you will receive, with the help of which you can expand your conversation.
While talking to someone slightly lean forward
Not much but little, this will show to the opposite person that you are interested in them and in their talk
and also comfortable and open with them
try not to do this much while meeting the opposite sex
other wise you can look needy and desperate, which doesn't look good
Now the second part comes Establishing Rapport
Amongst all three part, this is the most important part
Because here you can form mental and emotional level connection with people
Because of which people will start liking you at some different level
You all must be aware,that we humans are emotional creatures
Who mostly, take decisions through heart not through brain
and forming Rapport will help us to create emotional connection.
By understanding others feelings and emotions
So now i will share some points to form a strong Rapport.
Sometimes while talking to your close friends or family you realise that they are sad or angry
You asked them WHAT HAPPENED IS EVERYTHING OK?
At that moment, they give a fake smile and says Yes everything is ok, i am fine:)
To which you don't believe and later you come to know that yes you were thinking right about his/her emotion
Well because of some reasons we come to know that they are lying
But have you ever though what is that reason through which we come to know that something is wrong
So answer for this is, because of their Attitude
Because our attitude directly impacts our mind and our mind is fully connected to our body
So what happens, if your attitude is full of anger
No matter how nicely you try to talk, but people will understand
your anger through facial expression, through your voice tone and through your body language
which will not allow you to build a Rapport
Hence instead of keeping negative attitude while talking to people, such as anger, bored, impatient etc
try to keep positive attitude while talking to people like, be calm relax, patient, confident etc
No.2) Art of Synchronisation
Suppose you like soccer then your bonding will be more with those people who have same interest like you
If you like watching GOT(Game of thrones) then you will love to spend time with GOT Fans.
You must have notice, that people with common interest easily gel up with eachother
and become comfortable to each other easily and form connection.
Why this happens? because we love to spend time with those people who are like us
or have same interest like us,
People who have similar thinking, have similar ideas about life
Not always but most of the time, our bonding will be less with those people who are opposite to us
Hence if we synchronise with others, or if we do things like them
This thing will really help us to form RAPPORT
I will not talk about thoughts and ideas, it can differ
But i will talk about some practical things which can be similar to all
which we can easily sync and can form connection to the other person
In order to sync with others, we must focus on 3 V'S
first,. Visual 2) Vocal
and third is Verbal
55 percent of our communication is based on visual things
To be specific, depends on Body language
38 percent communication depends on our Voice Tone
And only 7 percent depends on your verbal communication
The very first thing we come to know here,
the most important thing is our body language
and to sync it is really very important
and to sync body language you can use a very simple technique
which is known as Mirroring
Here you need to copy body language of the opposite person.
if a person while talking is keeping one hand over the other
Then you too calmly keep your hand over the other hand while talking
if they lean towards you to say something , you too lean towards them
And at whatever level you can copy their body language, do it
But do remember one thing, that they don't understand or realise that you are purposely doing that
example, suppose the person is touching his/her shoulder , then you don't need to do that
If you do that, then the opposite person will understand that something is not right, and rapport will not form
Now lets talk about the second V Which is Vocal communication
Your 38 percent communication depends the way you talk,
Hence it is very much important to sync this as well.
The very first thing you can do to sync vocal is the tone of voice of the opposite person
If opposite person is asking you something in an exciting tone
Then you too reply in an exciting tone
Example, suppose your friend comes and Ask You HEY hOW ARE YOU?(EXCITINGLY)
Then you too reply excitingly AL GOOD Brother
And if he says something in an emotional tone
Then you too reply him in an emotional tone
and similarly you can sync the other voice tone.
and in this the other thing you can sync is volume and speed
If opposite person says something loudly
then you too speak little loudly and if they speak slowly you too speak slowly
and same way you can sync the rhythm and pitch
Now the Last V comes is Vocals
The words and conversation which opposite person is saying and using
This topic is not so important so will talk about it later
we are watching any movie or a series and we knew deep inside our heart that whatever is going on is fake
But still when any of our favourite character dies or anything bad happens to them we feel bad
We feel angry and few even cry
Even after knowing the fact that , it was fake it wasn't real
we believe all the things which we see in that movie or series
and get emotionally connected with it
why this happen? this is something we need to think about
well the reason for this is Congruity
well Performed Actors always Focus on 3 V'S of communication WHILE Performing or while acting
Meaning their Body language(visual) Vocal and Verbal
are Congruent to each other
hence we find their performance real and we believe it.
Similarly if you want people to believe you and to form emotional connection with you
then try to be congruent
meaning it shouldn't happen like through your body language you are looking nervous
and only your voice tone is confident
Instead you must look confident in ALL three V's In your body language, in your voice and even your words
Here i have explained Two parts Meeting and Rapport and third part is communicate
In third part i will explain how to communicate with people and what to talk
most of the people don't understand what they must talk when they meet someone for the first time.
what they must talk to make their conversation interesting so that people love their company .
However this is an important and big topic, so i will explain it in the next article
Whatever i have explained in this article, Do implement it in real
just by watching articleat home, nothing will going to happen
Now a days we spend so much time with our cell phones
That we are forgetting the importance of doing face to face conversation
hence try to use you phone less and gel up with people in real
my friend Shubham has uploaded a articleHarmful effects of mobile on brain in seeken jigyaasa
has shared some interesting facts, which you can see by clicking on screen on by going below description
so do check out it can inspire you to make less usage of mobile.
Now to end i have share this knowledge from The book how to make people like you in 90 sec by Nicholas.